Marc/Taegan, making my way through, about 20 minutes in. I love the intentionality around the boundaries of what you share about your kids. That intentionality will serve you so well. As my 3 are all teens now, the intentionality of boundaries still exists but what feels just as big is the intentionality that goes into relationship repair. You started in on acknowledging that there will be that need. I remember the first time I apologized to my oldest, he was 2 or 3. And that task has only grown more and more necessary as they grow, express their own opinions and feelings. So much about relationship is about repair, especially with kids. Expect yourself to be just what they need, and do the best you can, and know that means there are times they will call you out, and that does not mean you’ve failed, it’s just a chance to model the full spectrum of humanity…
I love this conversation about having too much content to reflect on and build a story on. I’ve been thinking lately, as a kid born in the early 80s, who has some photos but not a ton, no videos, and no journals, what childhood meant, what shaped me, what I need to do differently. I’m landing on what is most important is the story we tell ourselves about earlier days and how we relate to it today, the relation to it being primary. Even if that means we don’t fully remember childhood or think we remember but aren’t sure if it’s fully accurate. It’s all memories and we sort of get to choose how we stitch that together. To me that’s empowering, especially with minimal content to look back at.
I hope my kids, with a plethora of pictures, videos and some letters to them that I know they’ve saved, do the work later on of relating to this time in their life…thoughts??
Taegan pointed out in the episode that the work he’s creating is to help him and his daughter sort through the mess of data we are collecting. When he said that I realize he is right - in this day an age, where we print nothing and everything is in the cloud… how do we expect those who come after us to sift through the important moments in the mire of screen shots and other mess. This digital age, as beautiful as it is, has its drawbacks.
I’ve wondered about this, too. Most of my childhood has been filtered through memory and imagination. As you said, Brian, it’s become a story (or a poem) that I keep re-writing for myself—one that’s sort of mythologized for the most part—because I don’t have much concrete evidence leftover (a few dozen photos, no video) and I kind of like it that way! :)
I hear my kids (in their 20’s now) feeling nostalgic about certain things that would not have seemed special to me at the time. It’s interesting to see what was meaningful to them. Maybe we can only see that in hindsight. Looking in the rearview mirror of time, I hope we can be generous and kind to ourselves and each other. To be full of forgiveness like you’ve been, Brian. Just to trust that we’re all doing the best we can, in any given situation, given the limits of being human.
As a thirty-year military man with weekly Sunday cuts as a ritual, I understand this relationship between a man and his barber. My forehead keeps getting longer, but I'm still holding on.
Taegan and Marc, I loved listening to your conversation. Especially about the two faces of writing: the public-facing side, where your stories can help encourage and empower others, and the inward-facing side, where you get to feel and savor the rush of your own unfolding stories. About hair: Marc I think it’s beautiful that your young son gets to see his mother taking loving care of his father. There’s great value in that for the life of a young child—an example of real tenderness, love and service. I hope you put on some good music and make it fun! I’ve cut my son’s hair for many years, and we joke about my little barber shop—we call it “Frankenstyles” :)
Someone once told me that he thought of their baldness as licks death was giving him, reminding him of his own mortality. I think that's the most poetic explanation for receding hairlines I've ever heard and thought you two would enjoy it. For the last couple of years I've been going back and forth between a fauxhawk and a buzzcut. The problem now is that I have more salt than pepper in the hair that's growing, on top of a Friar Tuck pattern brewing, so a couple of weeks ago I told my barber we were going back to the buzzcut. I take my three boys to my barber and he takes a dollar off each cut for the father-son special; it's our little monthly ritual. I could shave my head and save some money but I think the experience is worth the money. That was a nice conversation, gents.
Taegan, do you go to a barber for your beard or do you take care of it yourself?
Bro, you are a hell of a writer.
Theses lines are poetry in the form of prose:
“The barrier between the skin and my head was gone. I could never lie after that day, in fear I was so bald even my thoughts would be visible.”
Ahhh I so appreciate you man! ❤️❤️❤️
I liked that too, what a great line!
Thank you, Scoot!
I’ve had car tires so bald you could see the air in them, so I suppose anything is possible.
🤣
Marc/Taegan, making my way through, about 20 minutes in. I love the intentionality around the boundaries of what you share about your kids. That intentionality will serve you so well. As my 3 are all teens now, the intentionality of boundaries still exists but what feels just as big is the intentionality that goes into relationship repair. You started in on acknowledging that there will be that need. I remember the first time I apologized to my oldest, he was 2 or 3. And that task has only grown more and more necessary as they grow, express their own opinions and feelings. So much about relationship is about repair, especially with kids. Expect yourself to be just what they need, and do the best you can, and know that means there are times they will call you out, and that does not mean you’ve failed, it’s just a chance to model the full spectrum of humanity…
Looking forward to listening to the rest!
Your last sentence felt like a gem I need to carry for the rest of my life - thank you for them, Brian.
I love this conversation about having too much content to reflect on and build a story on. I’ve been thinking lately, as a kid born in the early 80s, who has some photos but not a ton, no videos, and no journals, what childhood meant, what shaped me, what I need to do differently. I’m landing on what is most important is the story we tell ourselves about earlier days and how we relate to it today, the relation to it being primary. Even if that means we don’t fully remember childhood or think we remember but aren’t sure if it’s fully accurate. It’s all memories and we sort of get to choose how we stitch that together. To me that’s empowering, especially with minimal content to look back at.
I hope my kids, with a plethora of pictures, videos and some letters to them that I know they’ve saved, do the work later on of relating to this time in their life…thoughts??
Taegan pointed out in the episode that the work he’s creating is to help him and his daughter sort through the mess of data we are collecting. When he said that I realize he is right - in this day an age, where we print nothing and everything is in the cloud… how do we expect those who come after us to sift through the important moments in the mire of screen shots and other mess. This digital age, as beautiful as it is, has its drawbacks.
I’ve wondered about this, too. Most of my childhood has been filtered through memory and imagination. As you said, Brian, it’s become a story (or a poem) that I keep re-writing for myself—one that’s sort of mythologized for the most part—because I don’t have much concrete evidence leftover (a few dozen photos, no video) and I kind of like it that way! :)
I hear my kids (in their 20’s now) feeling nostalgic about certain things that would not have seemed special to me at the time. It’s interesting to see what was meaningful to them. Maybe we can only see that in hindsight. Looking in the rearview mirror of time, I hope we can be generous and kind to ourselves and each other. To be full of forgiveness like you’ve been, Brian. Just to trust that we’re all doing the best we can, in any given situation, given the limits of being human.
And God asked, “Do you want hair or do you want hormones?” And so it was.
😂😂😂😂😂
I am maybe halfway through this podcast and it is incredible.
Means a lot that you took the time Noha, thank you
You’re so welcome. It’s fantastic work
As a thirty-year military man with weekly Sunday cuts as a ritual, I understand this relationship between a man and his barber. My forehead keeps getting longer, but I'm still holding on.
Hold on, brother! There’s no going back when you take that step.
Fighting the good fight!
I loved this! Thanks.
Thanks so much Diana!
Thanks Diana
Taegan and Marc, I loved listening to your conversation. Especially about the two faces of writing: the public-facing side, where your stories can help encourage and empower others, and the inward-facing side, where you get to feel and savor the rush of your own unfolding stories. About hair: Marc I think it’s beautiful that your young son gets to see his mother taking loving care of his father. There’s great value in that for the life of a young child—an example of real tenderness, love and service. I hope you put on some good music and make it fun! I’ve cut my son’s hair for many years, and we joke about my little barber shop—we call it “Frankenstyles” :)
Someone once told me that he thought of their baldness as licks death was giving him, reminding him of his own mortality. I think that's the most poetic explanation for receding hairlines I've ever heard and thought you two would enjoy it. For the last couple of years I've been going back and forth between a fauxhawk and a buzzcut. The problem now is that I have more salt than pepper in the hair that's growing, on top of a Friar Tuck pattern brewing, so a couple of weeks ago I told my barber we were going back to the buzzcut. I take my three boys to my barber and he takes a dollar off each cut for the father-son special; it's our little monthly ritual. I could shave my head and save some money but I think the experience is worth the money. That was a nice conversation, gents.
Taegan, do you go to a barber for your beard or do you take care of it yourself?