108 Comments
May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

This makes me nostalgic for people and places that don't exist. Beautifully done.

Expand full comment
author

Hey Scoot,

From Carolina cargo ships to strange and nostalgic places - I'm glad that we ran into one another on Substack. Your presence on Notes is partly what I love the feature. So thank you

Expand full comment
founding
May 31, 2023·edited May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

Taegan, I continue to be moved and surprised (in the best way) by One Word and its evolution. The way that you take the audience into your world, link the different pieces together, and use your art to explore the loss of your dad, what it means for you to be a dad now, how to leave a legacy for your daughter--it is just so wonderfully human and kind.

There was so much in Home that I loved. The ending scene, after you buckle in your dad's ashes and build up to the type of home--a home of art that reflects you and your family, a home that will never be lost or destroyed--that you are building for your daughter really got me.

I also thought it was really cool to start the video with the link to Dada and also to take us behind the curtain a bit to show your process of starting each One Word with Origins. Exploring all the different origins of the word really opened up the exploration. And even in video you still get through really thought-provoking lines. The lines "I do not assemble. I discover, and in that discovery, learn something about myself" made me pause and think about all the ways that I am assembling vs discovering in my own life; how so much of the pain in my life has either been because I was trying to assemble a very specific reality from spare parts, a reality that could never be assembled, and how much freedom there is in embracing a discovery mindset.

And an edit to say that I forgot to mention how touching the scene with John in the antique market is. The way that the conversation morphs into him talking about how he associates home with the feeling of comfort being with your mom served as a really good fulcrum to move the viewer into the way that you ended talking about your family.

Expand full comment
author

Hey Spencer,

This one definitely came down to the wire. Breaking the story into the three chapters or definitions was helpful for editing. It let me try working with multiple timelines in Davinci Resolve, which was great, but it stretched the story out longer than I had hoped. I'm glad where it landed, but it meant a few very long, nearly sleepless nights!

Also, I learned a few technical lessons with this word, so I'm hoping it helps as I prepare for the next one. Sometimes I forget I'm learning an entirely new skill with videography, and I could be a little easier on myself.

It's terrifying for me to bring my dad up in these videos, but I've worked on the grief so much in private, that it feels like the right time. Another memoir doc artists commented in Dada that her dead father was once her muse, and that was the first time I realized that's true with me, too.

Looking at the words I have coming up, and how my dad plays into them, I don't want to say I'm hoping to lay him to rest as a muse. In some ways, even when he was alive, he was a sort of muse. In high school, I'd write poems about his horses or the work he would do with them. But I do hope to shift my relationship with him through these words, and however that changes things, I'm just going to try and be open to it.

Jon is such a character. Imagining a world without his store feels lesser. He was also my favourite interviewee so far. (Aside from my mom, of course! [Yes, my mom reads the comments, and thinks everyone here is amazing]) He really did me a solid by thinking of his relationship with "home" and, as a added bonus, his store photographs so darn well.

Now that Home is finished, I can get back to my reading. I feel like that's how the months will go. First two weeks I'm more active on Substack, and the second half of the month I slowly become one with my video editing software. Your second piece in the series is next!

Expand full comment

I pushed a call back 30 minutes when I saw this drop in. Totally worth it. Unsurprisingly, I was contemplating my own, complicated, relationship to home throughout the video & just before you got to the ‘kayati’ definition I had identified my partner as my closest reference for the feeling of home. And, of course, each night when I lie down he is (99.9% of the time) there with me.

I love that your Dad came to stay, and that you guys watched Interstellar. Having a sense of home attached to temporary things (like people, and houses) is a complicated, risky and totally necessary business.

You’re building your daughter such a beautiful home, Taegan. Thanks for sharing it along the way.

Expand full comment
author

Hey Chloe,

Just wanted to start by saying I'm so glad to have found your writing. A few years back, my wife and I volunteered at a hospice and got to know a few death doulas. I respect your career choice a lot. It's so important, especially in the modern West.

I love your interpretation of kayati and how it links with your partner. It's one I'll take with me as a learning from the experience making and sharing this piece.

The physical moving of the urn from my mom to me was the one thing I realized partway through the month I had to do, but it was difficult to commit to. I sometimes worry about making these videos overly sentimental. It's not my intention. But not that it's over, I'm glad I did it.

Thanks again and I look forward to reading and commenting more on your work in June!

Expand full comment

Bless you both for doing that. Really happy to have made Substack-friends with you 🙏

Expand full comment
May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

What a beautiful, sensitive piece. Thank you for sharing.

Expand full comment
author

Hey Daria,

That's very kind of you to say. Your recent piece on home was helpful to see how someone else thinks about the word, so thank you for that.

Expand full comment
May 31, 2023·edited May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

The word "home" is so fraught for me, I tear up just writing it now. Your pieces are so inspiring and evocative. As a cancer crab who very much finds her shell 50% of her essential being (enough that my newsletter is called Home|body), I really relish this exploration into all that means. Also have (some of) my dad's ashes in an old camera film tin, and carry a very complicated memory of the childhood home/mom with mental illness detritus. Life is hard! Home helps. And your videos!

Expand full comment
author

Hey Sleepy Hollow,

Thanks so much for telling me a little about what home means to you. It's definitely a word that you carry with you your whole life. I really appreciate the honesty you offer here. Although I'm a Libra, I totally get the feelings of wanting to hide out in your shell. If it wasn't for these videos, I'd never talk to strangers! Hope the upcoming words continue to help you.

Expand full comment

want to write about "home" in my next piece. For now, I've got "water" coming up this week and actually give you a shout ;)

Expand full comment
author

That's amazing! I'm looking forward to Water. It's coming out this weekend or during the week?

Expand full comment

weekend. "what is it about the water..." why we gravitate to it. Having fun with that.

Expand full comment

Here we go: https://sleepyhollowink.substack.com/p/out-of-my-blue-mind (that brings up a question - do you get a notification when you're tagged in my post?) Have a nice weekend!

Expand full comment

Bravo Taegan! You're a fine documentarian Sir, and a great father. Big ups to your father and his passing on the summer day I was born. (not year obviously)

I didn't want the sequence from door to hatchback to typewriter to end. Sooo good - so inspiring - so much work went into this. And it's wide open for HOME part 2 - 3 - 4 and beyond if you want to go there. Mom interaction on chair was perfect. Lovely film - ONE WORD: FORWARD

Expand full comment
author

Hey James,

Been a fan of yours since this winter -- your sense of humor and videos are some of my favs. So your thoughts here mean a lot. I loved that door to typewriter transition, too. Hardest thing sometimes is cutting down the edit so it doesn't feel too long. Most of my transitions are 3x as long in my first edit!

Also, crazy to know the day of my dad's passing is your birthday. I'll make sure to wish you happy bday!

Expand full comment
May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

Waiting for "Sehnsucht"

Expand full comment
author

Had to look up the word -- that's a great idea

Expand full comment
May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

Hello. What lovely work. Your comments reminded me of a "pillow book" style of capturing all the thoughts coming to your mind. Want to take in everythng more closely this weekend when workday pressures and deadlines ease up. CHEERS!

Expand full comment
author

Hey Moe,

Thank you. I've never heard of pillow book style before. Is it based on this Japanese book?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pillow_Book

If so, that's interesting to me because in the comments of my last video, someone mentioned that the stories reminded her of Japanese slice of life stories.

I do have some Japanese influence, the biggest one is more modern. The director Kore-Eda, have you heard of him?

Expand full comment

Hi Taegan,

No, I have not heard of that director, but love Japanese film! Are you on Twitter by chance? I have a very short travel vignette that includes references to the Tokyo neighborhood of Yanaka, a favorite of mine when I spent several months teaching comparative poetry in Tokyo (a self-designed course, more an excuse to hang out in Japan for a short period, buy a lot of fun and enlightenment). CHEERS! "Moe"

Expand full comment

P.S. Yes, that is the reference. A classic.

Expand full comment
May 31, 2023Liked by Taegan MacLean

Wonderfully delivered and thought out once again, Taegan. Bravo. A delight to wake up and find there was a new One Word (I hadn't even thought about the date and that it must be coming).

I love the framing of this with the definitions of home, what a great way to think about it all. It's both factual but also personal storytelling wrapped up into this piece. You have a real skill with crafting these.

"Jon is an alchemist specializing in the elements that make up a home" is such a good description. Also, Jon just exudes warmth and kindness. I'd love to visit his shop.

I've always told my family that when I die I want to be cremated, but I want my ashes spread across a beautiful forest so that I can become part of the trees over time. (A forest, not the sea; I've been very explicit about not being cast into the endless void of the sea 😬😅)

Expand full comment
author

Hey Nathan!

I can't tell you how amazing it feels knowing talented writers like yourself look forward to seeing my video show up in the app or email.

One Word videos are strange to me, too. They feel sort of like they unfold before me, like a road I'm walking down. Most of my life, that's not how writing or storytelling worked. Especially fiction - oof. So glad you're taking the lead on that front, because I was dreadful at it.

I waver between cremation and green burial. Not sure if you've heard of that? It's when you're buried without all the chemicals, in a wooden box, in a forest.

On a side note: I think you'd love Jon's store. I've been to lots of antique stores, and his has a special energy to it. If I was able to convey even a small amount of that energy in the video, I'm happy.

Expand full comment

Hey Taegan, I can't tell you how amazing it feels to know someone so talented as you takes the time to read and comment on my little comment 😊😁

I love that these unfold for you too. That they're so organic really helps them shine, I'm sure.

Not heard of green burial, but that sounds really pleasant and a good way to return to nature.

You totally were able to capture Jon's passion. Please pass on to him that he totally shone in your video.

Expand full comment

Is someone chopping onions over here? Worth waiting the whole month for this.

Expand full comment
author

Hey Walther,

Really appreciate your comment and support. Doing my best to make the month wait feel like it's worth it - so you saying that really means a lot.

Expand full comment

I'M NOT CRYING! (beautiful work)

Expand full comment
author

Hey Miter,

Thanks for taking the time with this one. Means a lot!

Expand full comment

Wow. Taegan. The ending minutes are especially so heartrending yet hopeful. I like how you see the word home: "So I’m building a home for my daughter out of images and music and words." That stays. Thank you so much.

Expand full comment
author

Nadia,

Always puts a smile on my face when you jump in the comments. This one took a lot out of me - I'm pretty tired! But I'm glad that line resonated with you. When I finally figured out the ending, it was this concept that made it all gel.

Also, I'll be setting up the Diablo 4 clan tomorrow night (if the servers aren't a mess). I'll probably post a Note about the clan name and how to join. I'll make sure to tag you!

Expand full comment

You deserve all the love and praise! I'm sorry it was tough and tiring. I imagine it has been an emotional roller coaster, especially with speaking on your father and fatherhood. Strength to you. I hope you can get some rest (and fun!) this upcoming weekend. I'm so excited for D4 and to play with y'all. Can the hubs join too? :D

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! I'll definitely sleep well tonight, that's for sure!

And of course! My wife and I will be playing some via couch co-op, too.

Expand full comment

Awesome! Exciting! Take care :).

Expand full comment

How lovely. Thank you for sharing.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much Priya <3

Expand full comment

A dagger straight through. Every time. 😭

Expand full comment

I finally got around to watching "Home" and it was beautiful. Thank you so much for this intimate look at it.

What really stood out to me was the shot that transitioned from the warmth and uniqueness of Inglewood Antiques to the cold and sterile IKEA. I've noticed this shift from individuality to uniformity in how homes are decorated and presented, but I hadn't FELT it before. And it was sad. I think part of it too is that so many decisions around our homes are influence on the potential impact of re-sale. We're hesitant to put in unique features because they might not appeal to all buyers. And because houses are investments, developers make the same cookie cutter homes. It's why I'm so glad to live in a heritage home with character. And I'm decorating it with a mish-mash of donated, collected, thrifted furniture. Partly because of the economic impact, partly because it suits the character of the home, and also for other reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

It was also nice to see your home and how homey it is!

Expand full comment
author

Hey Liz!

I'm totally with you. I hadn't even really thought about how homes have shifted from individuality to uniformity until I was in the middle of making this video. The Ikea scene was not planned at all, and when I was looking over a rough cut about a week before releasing the final version, I realized what was missing was the other side to the antique market, the opposite, which I feel Ikea symbolizes.

The resale concept is so true, especially as Canadians. Everyone I know feels the same way - our homes are investments, and at the right price, we're all ready to sell. So that concept of roots for a lot of us (as you know) feels like it's disappearing.

Thanks so much for this reply. You bring up a lot of great ideas, and it's nice to hear from someone who would appreciate Jon's store!

Expand full comment

Dear Taegan; I just watched Home. I recognized so many of the city shots. Just a week ago a cabbie let me out on the still under construction side of Union Station, which looked a lot like one of the early shots. The familiarity of it all was beguiling, and opened my heart and mind to see take in what else you would offer. The conversations, first with the antiqu dealer, then your mother. Zeroing in on the heart meaning of home- not just where you will lie, but where you hold what is important. I loved the moment when you buckled in your dad's ashes. As a pastor, I've sometimes had occasion to transport ashes for a family, and it's like that. You don't just put them in the trunk. Choosing the place for your dad's ashes to sit in your house- also a depth of love and longing to that, which led into your expression of feelings about losing him too soon. I'd just been up to Thunder Bay to see my dad in his new retirement digs, in which he has a place, for my mom's ashes. It's all pretty close to home.

Expand full comment
author
Jul 7, 2023·edited Jul 7, 2023Author

Hey Darrow,

During the making of Home, I watched a documentary from the 80s or 90s by a filmmaker named Ross McElwee called Bright Leaves, and what struck me most about his work was how memoir documentaries capture a time, place, and people unlike any other type of project. It made me realize that, aside from anything I'm working on personally through these videos, I'm also capturing a place and people that, by the time my daughter, or anyone else, watches it decades later, will have vanished.

Toronto in particular is vanishing before my eyes. The transition to glass condos. The erasure of historical landmarks like Honest Ed's. I don't live in the city, but much of my life has taken place there, and it's also where my Dad grew up. And as someone with long-standing history with the city, it means a lot to me that something in what I'm creating hit on this idea with you, too.

I'm hoping in the video for Woodbine, which I'm aiming to release in August, I can explore a more focused approach in my dad's life. It's been difficult to tackle his memory head-on, because it's been so long and also because his passing has permeated so much of my life. The video I just released, Names, was the last one I could make without dedicating real on-screen time on my dad's life and passing. Thanks for letting me know your experience with Home and sharing some of your experiences as a pastor.

Expand full comment

I grew up in Thunder Bay, and left there more or less permanently after my under grad degree. When I go back, I almost always drive by the houses we lived in, in my childhood. I've watched those places change over the decades, and it mostly looks like deterioration rather than betterment. In the case of the homes of both of my grandmother's, I waited too long to photograph or video those places, and now they are only barely recognizable. It's good you are doing your work, before the landmarks are gone.

Expand full comment

Let me know when you have dates, because I'm usually in Costa Rica until the end of March!

Expand full comment
author

I’ll let you know sometime this fall. It’ll probably be March or April so the timing could work. Spring in Aiken is my favourite

Expand full comment