A heartrending post. My heart sunk regarding your father. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable, raw, open piece. And also the recipe! I also don't quite follow recipes. I just can't. I often look at the photos or the videos and then figure it out myself. Somehow it works out.
PS:
Can you write a poem with these lines?
"How do you know when a roast chicken is ready?
“When it smells savoury and the skin has popped and the wing tips are extra crispy.”
You write with raw vulnerability, which is a beautiful thing to do.
My wife's father suffers from severe Parkinson's and now dementia and is in a home. During his cognitive decline, there were similar moments of saying things that stung, both with my mother-in-law and also my wife. It's heart-breaking, especially when you know that such words are not coming from the person that used to be there.
I'm sorry for all you had to go through, Taegan. Thank you for sharing this with us, though.
On a lighter note: my relationship with cooking has blossomed over the years. I thoroughly enjoy the process now, whereas I gave it no thought as a child and sadly never watched my mum or dad cook to learn from them. But now I find it almost meditative, provided that all ingredients are bought and I know what I'm cooking. I'm also somewhat OCD when it comes to cleaning up as I go. Things take me two or three times as long as they should because I'm constantly cleaning up after myself.
My wife... not so much 🤣 if I leave her alone and I come back into the kitchen, it always amazes me just how much mess one can create in such a short span of time, haha. (But of course, it is one of the many little things that endear me to her even more.)
Thanks for taking the time to read this one. It always felt a little quieter than some of the others. And I'm sorry to hear about your wife's father. I can't imagine how tough it is dealing with Parkinson's.
I'm afraid I can relate more to your wife with cooking. I love the process and experience - especially when I get in the groove with a meal - but my lord I cannot clean as I go to save my life.
Thankfully, my wife is an expert kitchen cleaner. We work great as a team in the kitchen for that reason!
Oh, I'm embarrassed to describe it, as it is nothing like the masterpiece your mother created. But it is easy. I buy a four "organic" thighs. Preheat countertop toaster oven to 425, wash the chicken, and trim off the grossest of the fatty skin from the thighs, leaving some skin attached. Put the thighs in a baking dish, skinless side up. Pour juice of half an orange over the thighs and bake for 24 minutes. Turn the pieces skin side up and sprinkle paprika generously in lines (to resemble grill marks). Bake for another 14 minutes, and serve.
Ahh, yes! parallels my experience of when nothing else makes sense or makes sense in a dangerous way, I too, garden, cook!!
Love this piece you wrote "Recipes lay out the steps to a great meal, but lots isn’t written on the card. Who is at the table or how I’m feeling or what awaits tomorrow. All anyone can do is make the effort, time and time again, to create a meal that brings joy and sustenance. A moment of peace in a world of chaos."
You've made your mom's chicken sound delectable! I've always been a bit of a wimp when it comes to the process of spatchcocking a chicken, but that recipe may be the one I use if I ever get the courage to do it.
I love both stories. The confidence of jumping to preparing chicken for the first time (essentially, preparing your first big meal! And for people!). Love that fleeting feeling of "ahhh... I'm finally an adult." Still comes and goes, haha.
I never thought of chicken like this, so I loved this deep dive. My mom was SO grossed-out with handling raw whole chickens (even when she tried with cornish hens!), so we'd just deal with drumlettes and skinless chicken breast *for* recipes.
We eventually left the roasted chicken to Costcos, and my grandma the rare times she'd bother!
I felt disheartened reading the story about your dad changing, the hit against your mom's cooking, and how it hit deeper than I'd could've imagined...
This was so beautifully written, as always. I love being able to get these slices into life in such a poetic way.
A heartrending post. My heart sunk regarding your father. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable, raw, open piece. And also the recipe! I also don't quite follow recipes. I just can't. I often look at the photos or the videos and then figure it out myself. Somehow it works out.
PS:
Can you write a poem with these lines?
"How do you know when a roast chicken is ready?
“When it smells savoury and the skin has popped and the wing tips are extra crispy.”
What’s the best wine to use for a white sauce?
“Whatever is left over from the night before.”"
LOVE the poetry in them.
That's really kind of you to say. Made my night!
With every One Word I push myself to try something new. For this one, it was writing a recipe.
And honestly I feel like the way you laid out these lines it already sounds like a poem to me :)
Your every essay is unique and special and touching. It truly does sound like a poem!
That’s such a compliment. It means more than you know!
Hopefully the next one meets your expectations, too 🤞
I look forward to it!
A journey, as every one of your posts is.
You write with raw vulnerability, which is a beautiful thing to do.
My wife's father suffers from severe Parkinson's and now dementia and is in a home. During his cognitive decline, there were similar moments of saying things that stung, both with my mother-in-law and also my wife. It's heart-breaking, especially when you know that such words are not coming from the person that used to be there.
I'm sorry for all you had to go through, Taegan. Thank you for sharing this with us, though.
On a lighter note: my relationship with cooking has blossomed over the years. I thoroughly enjoy the process now, whereas I gave it no thought as a child and sadly never watched my mum or dad cook to learn from them. But now I find it almost meditative, provided that all ingredients are bought and I know what I'm cooking. I'm also somewhat OCD when it comes to cleaning up as I go. Things take me two or three times as long as they should because I'm constantly cleaning up after myself.
My wife... not so much 🤣 if I leave her alone and I come back into the kitchen, it always amazes me just how much mess one can create in such a short span of time, haha. (But of course, it is one of the many little things that endear me to her even more.)
Hey Nathan,
Thanks for taking the time to read this one. It always felt a little quieter than some of the others. And I'm sorry to hear about your wife's father. I can't imagine how tough it is dealing with Parkinson's.
I'm afraid I can relate more to your wife with cooking. I love the process and experience - especially when I get in the groove with a meal - but my lord I cannot clean as I go to save my life.
Thankfully, my wife is an expert kitchen cleaner. We work great as a team in the kitchen for that reason!
Hehe, good to have the teamwork. It's the same for us but with the roles reversed whenever we cook together.
And yeah, end stage Parkinson's is rough. Thanks for the kind words.
Well done on every level. I might even try the recipe, though I'm pretty committed to the one way I cook chicken.
Thanks so much. What’s your go-to chicken recipe?
Oh, I'm embarrassed to describe it, as it is nothing like the masterpiece your mother created. But it is easy. I buy a four "organic" thighs. Preheat countertop toaster oven to 425, wash the chicken, and trim off the grossest of the fatty skin from the thighs, leaving some skin attached. Put the thighs in a baking dish, skinless side up. Pour juice of half an orange over the thighs and bake for 24 minutes. Turn the pieces skin side up and sprinkle paprika generously in lines (to resemble grill marks). Bake for another 14 minutes, and serve.
That sounds delicious! Orange and paprika would be a really tasty combination. Did you come up with that yourself or find the combo in a cookbook?
It evolved over time
As all great recipes do!
I love this post about what an integral part food plays in our lives and our family dynamics.
Thanks so much for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your posts!
Thanks Celia. Coming for a food writer that means a lot!
Ahh, yes! parallels my experience of when nothing else makes sense or makes sense in a dangerous way, I too, garden, cook!!
Love this piece you wrote "Recipes lay out the steps to a great meal, but lots isn’t written on the card. Who is at the table or how I’m feeling or what awaits tomorrow. All anyone can do is make the effort, time and time again, to create a meal that brings joy and sustenance. A moment of peace in a world of chaos."
100%! Sometimes I forget how much cooking can settle my nerves, especially if I haven’t dedicated much time to it in a few weeks.
You've made your mom's chicken sound delectable! I've always been a bit of a wimp when it comes to the process of spatchcocking a chicken, but that recipe may be the one I use if I ever get the courage to do it.
I love both stories. The confidence of jumping to preparing chicken for the first time (essentially, preparing your first big meal! And for people!). Love that fleeting feeling of "ahhh... I'm finally an adult." Still comes and goes, haha.
I never thought of chicken like this, so I loved this deep dive. My mom was SO grossed-out with handling raw whole chickens (even when she tried with cornish hens!), so we'd just deal with drumlettes and skinless chicken breast *for* recipes.
We eventually left the roasted chicken to Costcos, and my grandma the rare times she'd bother!
I felt disheartened reading the story about your dad changing, the hit against your mom's cooking, and how it hit deeper than I'd could've imagined...
This was so beautifully written, as always. I love being able to get these slices into life in such a poetic way.